We started with a suspense-filled montage and I was on the very edge of my seat.
Someone was going to leave, someone was going to tell Zac they love him, and my Ben & Jerry’s was melting. It was just all too intense.
With only three weeks to go, could I possibly survive this sort of intensity until then?
There was no mucking around before Karina was sent off on the single date, and the other girls were’t happy. How dare they send a girl on a date who hasn’t already had one – so rude.
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Karina and Zac wentdown to the floating markets. I was sure there was more to do in Thailand than just markets, but here we were again.
Zac shocked the boys and me when he threw ice cream into the water and, as my flatmate Jono put it ,”ruined the pristine waters of Thailand”.
Franich, what are you doing ruining the good name of us tidy Kiwis?
Karina confided in Zac that she was doubting her ability to stay in the competition – the whole “it’s not you, it’s me” situation.
But the competition is all about Zac so it kind of was about him.
Karina then wanted to know why Zac had so many young girls in the house, like it was actually his choice to have them there.
Her 20 questions continued and Zac’s responses left her as cold as ice.
Perhaps Zac was not old and mature enough for Karina… she does like the mature man after all.
Dom Bowden droped by to check on the girls and jealousy was still rife among the group.
However, there was a date on the cards which meant someone else would get valuable one-on-one time with Zac.
Lily, Viarni, Claudia, Bel, Hannah, Sarah and Vanessa were sent off to fight for their time with Zac, literally.
Muay Thai, the art of the eight limbs, was the day’s activity, but at least no one had to put on a pink crop top or a ribbon in their hair.
Lily kicked some butt and put the Thai teacher through his paces. Bel, on the other hand, was about as scary as a newborn kitten.
Turned out no one’s performance mattered, it was all about who could last longest in an ice bath.
Claudia showed she would rather die of hypothermia than miss out on valuable one-on-one time.
However, Hannah was not having a bar of that and was going to fight to the death.
“Pain is temporary, quitting lasts forever,” said Hannah with her game face on.
Hannah proved she was no quitter, almost dying for the chance to get close to Zac.
The pair got hot and steamy with a fun boxing match and a cheeky kiss but alas no rose for Hannah.
For the first time no one was going into the rose ceremony safe, something Hannah was furious about.
How could Zac not give her a rose, she pondered, but we were concerned about greater things.
In almost perfect unison the boys and I commented on Hannah’s hideous purple lipstick.
“Is that an allergic reaction?” asked flatmate Darren.
I wasn’t sure, but I hope it wasn’t the same person who keeps putting fake tan on Zac’s face, because they needed to be fired last month.
Hannah told Zac a lame joke about him being too hot for an ice bath and the world cringed.
Bel was still flogging the dead horse by telling the world Zac doesn’t make enough effort.
I had always wondered why the book He’s Just Not That Into You was written, but now looking at girls like Bel I know why.
Perhaps it was time Zac cut her loose instead of leading this poor girl on an emotional rollercoaster.
However, when the rose ceremony came around, Zac called Bel’s name and asked the vital question: “will you accept this rose?”
“I don’t know,” said Bel finally accepting the fact maybe he was just not that into her.
Despite all her reservations and tears, Bel took the rose and decided to stay on.
The final three were Viarni, Claudia and Karina and it was quite clear who would go home.
“I want that rose,” said Karina but did she really?
Zac didn’t think so and sent her packing. Bye Ivanka.